Things I can do instead of writing my thesis (a comprehensive list to refer to whenever I find myself actually tempted to work on it):

-Check facebook.

-Clean ALL OF THE THINGS.  Like the fan for the stove.  And between the couch pillows.  And that stain in the bathroom that looks like a stain but is really some sort of mark that won’t come out even with bleach.  (But you wouldn’t know it by just looking at it.  Maybe I should make a sign for guests?)

-Make a bathroom sign acknowledging stain is permanent, but has been sterilized and is not a health threat.

-Check facebook.  Check G+, even though no one uses it.  Check twitter, even though I don’t have twitter.

-Learn a foreign language.  Like French.  Oui, bonjour.

-Organize my things.  Such as my cookbooks in order of country of origin/type of cuisine.  But where would Joy of Cooking go?!?  (This could take at least 30 minutes of careful contemplation.)

-Check facebook again.  Update status about writing my thesis and how grad school sucks.  Wait patiently for friends to offer sympathetic and encouraging remarks.

-Stare at inanimate objects for a while in quiet contemplation of life (…also, I may still be waiting for more replies on facebook).

-Sigh.  A lot.

-Debate opening files for thesis even though it will depress the heck out of me.  But then…

-Cell phone rings!!!  Answer phone excitedly.

-Explain to my Dad what internet memes are.  This is an ongoing project that has already yielded remarkable results, such as text messages beginning with “Socially awkward penguin…”

-Get guilted by father to work on thesis.

-Write this list and then post it for the world wide web to see and be amazed by it. (Aka me.  Maybe the boyfriend if I bug him enough to read it.  But then he might get the idea that I’m procrastinating on my thesis.)

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This entry was posted in An exercise in procrastination, Likely only amusing to me and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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